“Our social tools are not an improvement to modern society, they are a challenge to it.”
― Clay Shirky

The comparison game– we all do it. There is no better place to compare our lives and all it’s lacking, than through social media. But, there is a bigger truth, the one we can all reasonably admit to — social media is an escape. We all want to escape. It is the place where we can present our best selves and our best life. It is a place that allows us to fantasize about what our life would be like….if only. But, is this the place where we want our truth and value to come from?

I recently watched my dear and beautiful friend, author and fashion guru, Annmarie O’Connor do a TED Talk. She discusses Satisfaction vs. Happiness. It was so genuinely spot on. With enormous, wit, humor and compassion, she challenges us to really think about what it is that makes us happy? And…..what is wrong with just being satisfied!

In reflection, the thought of what social media promotes sits with me. It promotes this idea of falsehoods, not by the sharer but by those watching from the outside. We only see as far as the eye can see and that is usually a happy and joyful photo. Occasionally we see the other side of that truth;  sorrow, illness, and even death. But, for the most part it is the place of unspoken truths. I mean, really, why would anyone want to visit Facebook just to see doom and gloom?! It would be a terrible failure and huge disappointment.

The truth is,  those photos only tell you a minuscule part of the story. We, all of us, carry burdens, We carry sad stories. We carry lost love. We carry loneliness. We carry financial problems. We carry illness. Not all the time and not every single person. But, if you are human, trust me, you carry something that will at some point make your heart heavy. And, this is what true living is. Those photos are captured snipets of joy. There are wonderful moments of joy, but it is not the reality of our lives at every turn.

In moments of challenges dear friends, stay off social media, it will only make you feel worse because some how, by that small statement or photo, you will conjure up a story much greater than the fact that it is just that — a small moment . Do not compare your life to that unseen truth. Because, when we are feeling down or bummed or less than or lonely, social media will do its very best to make you feel worse.

I can honestly tell you, as humans we all have those moments of misery and of joy. None of us is exempt from life and its erratic ups and downs. We cannot escape what is part of being human. It is human to feel sorrow, loneliness, self-doubt, fear, and all those other lovely things we suffer on this earth. But, we also know the flip side and that is,  satisfaction with a life well lived. A life well lived looks differently for each and everyone of us.

You cannot possibly win the race of your life, if you are continually checking to your right and left to see how your opponent is doing. When that gun goes off, if you are only focused on those to the right and left of you, and how well they all seem to be doing, you are bound to lose the only race that matters and that is the race with yourself.

Be generous with your perception of what it means to have a good life. Take a good look and see just how much grace is in your life. It may not look like any one else’s life, but you may never know how someone else, looking at yours may be wishing for some of your beautiful grace.

With Love, Light and Joy~

Maria