“Whatever you do be gentle with yourself. You don’t just live in this world, or your home or your skin. You also live in someone else’s eyes.” ~Sanober Khan

Staring in the bathroom mirror, I push my hair back and disclose my face. I want to look at it lovingly and kindly. What I see is a fifty something year old woman who probably should not have spent so much time in the sun. A woman who is trying to be authentic but still be conscientiously caring. It is so easy to be cruel. So easy to be disparaging when you see all commercials for yet another facial cream that promises you the skin of a much younger woman. Let’s not mention that most, if not all these aging facial cream commercials are done by twenty year old models. Of course, we feel its an uphill battle or a downhill gravity one if you think about it.

It is easy to see the beauty in others as we harshly examine ourselves. I comb my thinning hair, and see the soft crinkles around my eyes. I see a face that no longer has the firm chin and jaw structure that once, not too long ago, did not have the soft hanging skin. I want to be loving. I want to look back and say “it’s all good,” you are still lovely. But, those words or thoughts rarely come out. What comes out usually is “oh my goodness, what the heck is happening?”

It all started with menopause, and not understanding the physical, emotional and physiological changes that I would endure. It is not something people speak of with enthusiasm; instead it is spoken about in hush tones as if the very verbalization of it, will bring on sudden and unwanted symptoms. I watched my sisters and friends go through it and no one spoke about it. It was just this thing that took over like a cruel punishment for all the youth we’d been privy to and dared to enjoy. It is a silent ghost that came on and we prayed would just vanish just as quickly. Thank goodness, there is now information on psychology journals that talk of this manifestation and what it means not only to women but to the men in their lives. I urge you to read about it. Especially the male partners whom have no clue as to what is happening to their women. It will lead you to understand why she is emotional or temperamental or tired or not interested in intimacy. This is not just something that happens to women without any direct impact on her husband and even children.

The more we understand, the more empathy and compassion we have as we see the clock ticking and the passage of time and not to mention our mirrors.

So, I turn off the light and walk away, trying very hard to be compassionate, to still see the hidden beauty. Often we don’t take the time to truly appreciate our body, skin and youth while it is present. It is sad, to think how much we take for granted and how we rarely take the time to be grateful for those things. Being able to love yourself at every age is challenging but the fact is that with each passing day, we get older and wouldn’t it be lovely to feel so much self-love that all you feel is gratitude for what you see in the mirror.

I want to be brave and I want you to be brave. I also want us to be kind to ourselves as the years come to take what it takes naturally.

Tenderly love what you see and appreciate the glorious generosity of time.

With Love, Light and JOY ~

Maria