“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in Marriage or friendship, is conversation.” ~ Oscar Wilde

The older I get, the more I crave language, the language found in conversation, writing and in reading. As we become a world thriving in technology, I yearn for more connection.

Humans by nature long for connectivity. That’s why community, from very early in time, has been not only important but necessary. The phrase “it takes a village,” is rooted in working together; being a part of something greater than ourselves.

Building a structure is infinitely more productive when you have various people building together, rather than just one person. It not only speeds the process, but gives us other people to watch out for mishaps and mistakes. When I was in Thailand and Cambodia, as a group we helped build a bathroom for a clinic. The process done, all by hand, took on the quiet of a well orchestrated symphony as we took turns in dragging rocks, mixing, and passing one brick at a time so that the last person could lay it. This act of working together in the hot sun yielded not just a structure, but a sense of family as we worked together to produce one thing. At the end of the day we all contributed to the greater good of people we would never meet. The connection we felt made us all emotional and lent the understanding that, together we could do so much more than working alone.

In this age of easy access to send out a message of thought via text, we lose sight of the need for true human connection. Of late, when I catch myself texting someone, especially if it lends to more that two sentences, I will call the person. I am remiss to say that I am not guilty of extending myself in a more authentic and available way, but I want to continue to change that.

At this moment when I am away from home, and all my loved ones are not near, I yearn to hear their voices; to have a conversation and hear about their daily musings.

I remember when I was a High School student and even younger passing notes in class to friends — though quite annoying to my poor teachers, this was the root of conversation in writing. So many things transpired with those notes — what to do for lunch, who would we see on the weekend, what boy would we check off a yes box for a temporary dating situation. It was so simplistic and yet a real way to engage with people.

The art of writing and its mechanics will one day be completely extinct, thanks to the states efforts to banish this beautiful form of art and communication. Penmanship has been taken off school curriculum along with learning to write script. When I first learned how to write all my letters in script, it was like I had just been giving a gift of relaxation. I would spend hours practicing all the possible surnames of future husbands. Curling all my letters was such an elaborate and simple joy. How sad that one day a whole generation will not be able to write script but will also not be able to read it. It will become a lost language.

I still keep a journal that is hand written, I still send notes to people just to say I am thinking of you. The response from them is, “your note just made my day. Thank you for thinking of me.” And that’s really it, a note says, you are thought of, I know that you exist and I am so glad. I remember receiving a card from a friend who had moved and she wrote about a time that we had shared, she even clipped an article about Cuba for my upcoming trip — I cannot tell you how precious that was to me. I felt so genuinely connected to her as she recounted a time we’d spent together and also her tips on a country I’d be visiting. She made me feel cherished.

There is a simple sweet joy in sitting with someone with a cup of tea and just talking about life. Hearing them tell you stories about themselves. This sharing and communing lifts you. The ability to store away distractions and genuinely sit with someone and being intent on this time is so healing. When I visit my mom or an older friend who lives alone, I truly feel blessed by my time with them. Knowing that I can visit an elder who lives alone and probably doesn’t have many visitors throughout the day brings me joy. Listening to their stories from long ago, is not just good for them, it is so very good for me.

I have learned so much from listening to clients, friends and strangers. When I travel, I love meeting new people just for the sake of “what can they teach me today.” Every single person contributes to this life with their own experiences. Their experiences can become our lessons when we take the time to listen and engage.

Communication whether, written, verbal or in a simple and gentle touch, is what makes us human. It is not just a way to get things done, it is also our way to remain a part of something bigger than ourselves. It is an extension of humanity that keeps us not only vested in our own good but in the good of the broader world.

Isolation does not serve anyone and as technology continues to challenge the way we communicate, we must be careful not to become complacent in letting go of things of the past that served us well. We must remember that from the beginning of time humans have sought each other out to build communities, families and a sense of belonging.

Look up, look around you, reach out — let yourself be fed and feed others with your presence. Take in all that we have to enrich each other’s lives.

With Love, Light and JOY ~

Maria