Being Passive does not create A life

“I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When I was a child of about eight or ten years old, I was a big dreamer. Also, being that I mostly spoke Spanish and my English was in the beginner stages of acquisition, I read voraciously and had my head in a book most days. I was very curious about life and places and people. I did not want to be boring; this was terrifying to me. As I got older, I was afraid of missing something, experiencing something in life that I was meant to experience, but did not yet know. I was inquisitive and curious about the lives of others; how they lived, what they did, why they did it and how they did it.

My son and friends will tell you that I am known to start a conversation in the parking lot of a Target (or let’s be honest, The Tractor Supply Store) with a stranger and before you know it, I know their whole life story and sometimes, we hold hands and hug as strangers who were fortunate to have exchanged this precious moment in time. I have learned so much about life from these moments when I was open and unafraid to reach towards another human.

I have worked and had the good fortune to know people of all ages and what I have learned from most of the much older people I have spent time with is this; if you don’t go out there and create a life that is fulfilling, you end up with regrets for not taking chances and always asking the big question, “what would have happened if ………..?”

There is this precious woman whom we all call Gum, her name is Anne. She is now in her late 90s. When I lived in the city, I spent some of the most sweetest moments with this woman. She shared so much of her life story with me. She grew up in Staten Island with a very loving family but one who was guarded and protective of her. She worked in Manhattan for many years in an insurance company and was a true go-getter. She kept the company’s books and was diligent in her work. She told me a story of how she wanted to get a second job and heard about a company who was looking for someone like her. It was a frigid and cold day in NYC and she could not find the entrance to the address she was looking for. Standing in front of Tiffany’s, she asked the doorman about this address and before she knew it, she found out that they were looking for someone. She got an interview on the spot and got the job, even in her state of being soaked from the rain.

But this was not her passion, though she loved her jobs and I mean LOVED her jobs, there was another thing she loved more– dancing. She was so grateful for her good fortune and when she spoke to me about the work she did, you could tell that this woman truly embraced her life and work. She did all things with eagerness and joy. While working in NYC, she started taking ballroom dancing after work and absolutely fell in love with it. She was a shy woman, but when she danced, she found her true self, in movement and music.

While taking lessons, now in her 40s, she met her one true love, her beloved Tony and that was when the magic of her life began. They fell in love and got married and continued dancing for many years together. When Gum spoke of this time, she often had tears in her life. It was the best time of her life. She lived doing what she loved with the person she loved. She created the life she dreamed of. Whenever I sat with her for our weekly jaunts, she always said to me “you should really take up dancing, it would make me so happy if you danced!”

About a month ago, I was looking to create something for myself but I was not sure what that was. I have been living in rural upstate for three years and I have made some friends and I am surrounded by animals which is a great joy to me. But, something was missing. There was a void that was waiting to be filled and a sense of longing for community and connection. I started searching for things to do in the Hudson Valley area and alas, there it was — a weekly West Coast Swing class. I have not danced in many years with a partner but after hesitating some, I hit the RSVP button and showed up to my first class on a Saturday afternoon. I have not stopped dancing since. What I realized is this, if you want to create any type of moment in life, you must take risks. You must show up for it, whatever it is.

My class is filled with people of all ages, we all show up, we all open our hearts and let our feet move freely in order to feel connection to each other and our bodies. We are in gratitude for what our bodies can still do and when the knees are aching the next day, we all say, “yes knees I hear you, but wasn’t it a lovely day!”

Life is here and now. There is no one who is going to say “here you go, this is your life planned out in this map and all you have to do is show up and do it.” No, you and only you can create a life that resonates with you. A life that says, “look at me, I am truly living.” I love Mary Oliver’s quote, “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” For in this quote she brings it back to YOU, not your partner, not your friend, not anyone, but you.

It is our responsibility to take this life on without fear, without hesitation. This life is so precious and giving and generous, but it is up to us/you to do with it, what it is calling you to do — live it.

Whatever your heart is saying, whispering, do it a favor — listen. For our hearts tell us what we need and if we really listen, you will find that it will take you towards what you’ve been looking for.

So, my dear sweet Gum, my next dance is for you, thank you!

With Love, Light and JOY~

Maria

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