happiness

While we Wait – Live Expectantly

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“Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart. ” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

On a very cold and bright January day long ago, I loaded my giant dog and my car with all that I would need to live in Maine for the winter. Most would say, “ugh, Maine in winter — are you crazy?” But, considering that six months earlier I left my job of 17 years for good, I guess that crazy is a bit my style.

I have loved Maine for so many years. I do believe at the core of my heart, that in another life, that was my home. For every time I visit, I feel this innermost connection. As if every time I arrive, I have come home to a place that I only know to be good and safe.

That being said, Maine welcomed me with a flat tire on that cold sunny day. An hour from my destination I hear the dreaded blup, blup, blup and I knew my tire was way flat. Pulling over on I-95 where the semi’s seem to drive at a 130 mph, I pull over and call my road side assistance. Very sweetly she asks if I can get an Uber (haha) so that they can tow my car to a tire place. Being that I had a horse size dog in my car and I was in the middle of nowhere – uh no! Not to mention that my trunk, where the spare donut was, was filled ever so carefully like a puzzle where all the pieces interconnect, to the absolute brim. So much so, that when I opened the trunk, a bin fell out spilling my bathroom essentials onto I-95. Luckily at that point a state trooper had pulled over and stood behind me so that I could safely unload my trunk allowing the roadside assistance to change my tire.

I was unshaken by all this and the fact that now I was going to be driving on a dark dirt road. As it turns out just off the exit there was a tire place, where they just happened to have one and I say one because its clearly a miracle — one tire that fit my Honda Civic. Oh I forgot to mention that I was driving a Honda Civic, which is not at all conducive to Maine winters but thats a whole other story. My determination to find meaning in my life, yes, yet again, was what drove me. The promise of quiet and time for discernment in the middle of an isolated Peninsula where most of its residents leave for the warmth of Florida, was so alluring that I would not be deterred or mildly discouraged.

You see I went there to find God. Yes, I know he is everywhere and with me all the time but I knew in Maine, where there were no distractions, I would find him waiting for me. Waiting to teach me what I still needed to learn about this year and how taking a leap of faith was simply not enough and it would absolutely not guarantee me anything at all. I knew that in the silence of the tall trees in the forest, the dark grey waters of the ocean, I would hear him. I would hear him and I would also hear my own heart speak to me.

I was waiting, not really sure for what, but I knew there was something and I was expectant.

Since that time in 2018, I have gone back many times, created memories and deep friendships. Living in Maine that winter gave me the space to ground myself and deeply look into what kind of life I wished for. Peaceful that was what I craved and needed. In 2020, I moved to a dirt road in upstate New York, where again I found that life was slower, quieter, more isolated just like in Maine. Moving is something I have done so very often. I don’t enjoy it at all, but every move has prepared me for something in the future. I lived in upstate for a few years and two years ago while just living my life with no expectations, I met a sweet Belgium who was visiting family and friends. We met on Labor Day weekend of 2023. I had gone reluctantly to a dance with a friend (for about a year I had joined a group of people who met weekly for dance lessons), he went to the dance with a friend he was visiting. As soon as he took my hand, I knew that I was supposed to meet and know this man. Then I asked if he lived in the area and he said, “oh no, I live in France.” Well of course I then thought to myself, “maybe I am wrong about this meeting.” I obviously was not deterred by the giant ocean that separated us or the fact that he was going back to France in three days. I asked him to meet for lunch and we had dinner instead on Monday. Two years of dating long distance has brought me to today, my life in France.

On September 15th, international movers came to pick up my life packed into 20 boxes. 20 boxes of all that was left after all of my previous moves. On the 17th, I drove with my dear niece Veronica to Austin, TX in order to spend some time with Jon and Kelsey and give them my car. On September 28th, I flew to France to reunite with Philippe and my dog Jax. Our home is in a small village in the countryside, very similar to where I lived. I know still that in the quiet of my life, is where I meet with God. No longer do I attend church in a building, but I find him in the forest and in the quiet of open fields, in the singing birds and in the people that I love. I find him in the quiet moments in the early morning where the fields are surrounded by fog. I find him when I am cooking, or walking, or reading while my dog sleeps on my lap. I find him and I know that he is always near, no matter where I am.

Life is completely unexpected. While we are living, anything can happen at any given time. When I reflect back on my life, Maine taught me so many lessons. Anything is possible, hold no expectations, don’t be too attached to any one outcome. Just when you think you are settled into a life, and that nothing new will arise, you have a chance meeting in a honky tonk in  community lodge with a stranger from another country and all of a sudden you are living a new chapter of the life you thought was finally settled.

I guess the lesson here is life is never done with teaching us new things, a new language, a new culture, a new home and the ability to start over again and yes, even to fall in love again. May we all have the opportunity to surprise ourselves with the ability to not just start over but to also see how absolutely capable we are at it.

With Love, Light, Joy and deep Hope,

Maria

The Unseen Truths about Social Media

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“Our social tools are not an improvement to modern society, they are a challenge to it.”
― Clay Shirky

The comparison game– we all do it. There is no better place to compare our lives and all it’s lacking, than through social media. But, there is a bigger truth, the one we can all reasonably admit to — social media is an escape. We all want to escape. It is the place where we can present our best selves and our best life. It is a place that allows us to fantasize about what our life would be like….if only. But, is this the place where we want our truth and value to come from?

I recently watched my dear and beautiful friend, author and fashion guru, Annmarie O’Connor do a TED Talk. She discusses Satisfaction vs. Happiness. It was so genuinely spot on. With enormous, wit, humor and compassion, she challenges us to really think about what it is that makes us happy? And…..what is wrong with just being satisfied!

In reflection, the thought of what social media promotes sits with me. It promotes this idea of falsehoods, not by the sharer but by those watching from the outside. We only see as far as the eye can see and that is usually a happy and joyful photo. Occasionally we see the other side of that truth;  sorrow, illness, and even death. But, for the most part it is the place of unspoken truths. I mean, really, why would anyone want to visit Facebook just to see doom and gloom?! It would be a terrible failure and huge disappointment.

The truth is,  those photos only tell you a minuscule part of the story. We, all of us, carry burdens, We carry sad stories. We carry lost love. We carry loneliness. We carry financial problems. We carry illness. Not all the time and not every single person. But, if you are human, trust me, you carry something that will at some point make your heart heavy. And, this is what true living is. Those photos are captured snipets of joy. There are wonderful moments of joy, but it is not the reality of our lives at every turn.

In moments of challenges dear friends, stay off social media, it will only make you feel worse because some how, by that small statement or photo, you will conjure up a story much greater than the fact that it is just that — a small moment . Do not compare your life to that unseen truth. Because, when we are feeling down or bummed or less than or lonely, social media will do its very best to make you feel worse.

I can honestly tell you, as humans we all have those moments of misery and of joy. None of us is exempt from life and its erratic ups and downs. We cannot escape what is part of being human. It is human to feel sorrow, loneliness, self-doubt, fear, and all those other lovely things we suffer on this earth. But, we also know the flip side and that is,  satisfaction with a life well lived. A life well lived looks differently for each and everyone of us.

You cannot possibly win the race of your life, if you are continually checking to your right and left to see how your opponent is doing. When that gun goes off, if you are only focused on those to the right and left of you, and how well they all seem to be doing, you are bound to lose the only race that matters and that is the race with yourself.

Be generous with your perception of what it means to have a good life. Take a good look and see just how much grace is in your life. It may not look like any one else’s life, but you may never know how someone else, looking at yours may be wishing for some of your beautiful grace.

With Love, Light and Joy~

Maria

Why Joy will Stand the Test of Time

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“If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment” ~ C. Santana

Why not choose Happiness?

I often see those signs that say “choose happiness” — well I say choose Joy! Joy is the foundation that will bring you happiness. Happiness is such a wonderful and illicit desire. Yet on it’s own, it can only be attained if the circumstances are ideally matched to one’s desires.

We often think, “I will be happy if my partner loves me, I will be happy when I have that job, I will be happy when I get that promotion, I will be happy when I make a certain salary, when I move to the perfect house, when my kids graduate school…….blah blah blah. Guess what? — not happening. Or it might, but it will be a temporary fix and it will only lead to the wanting of the next thing. Once those things are attained, there will be another thing that you will be waiting for to bring you happiness. Wanting always leads to wanting. It is an absolute truth. A truly joyous spirit will never leave you wanting for it knows that all things come to pass.

Joy is something that grows deep within us. It is not attached to anything outside of ourselves. Joy stands the test of time. It’s foundation is strong as it relies solely on its on resolve. The person who has joy, innately feels a sense of wonder and gratitude. They are able to see the world around them in a bigger and fuller spectrum. Even when life is challenging, they can wake in the morning with a sense of gratitude. They can still appreciate the beauty of a sparrow building a nest. They can still see the beauty of a rainbow after the rain clears. Their heart is joyful even when there is sadness around them. Because, they can easily separate the two because with a clear understanding that life is always going to present moments of sorrow or hardship, but, they also know that most of these things are like a bad season and just as the come to be, they also come to pass.

Tips for achieving a Joyful heart:

* Upon waking, give thanks, for anything and everything. Give thanks that you are awake and your eyes can see the sun streaming in through the window.

* Don’t rush to move but lay quietly and slowly open and close your eyes, scan your body and feel the movement that it allows.

* Meditate, if only for 10 minutes — time for reflection and a sense of quieting the mind soothes the heart and brain.

* If you have a praying practice, use it. Ask for blessings as you start your day.

* Listen to soothing music – such as yoga or meditation music as you prepare for your day. This will bring internal balance and protect you from the noisy chaotic world outside your home.

* Eat healthy and nourishing food.

* Do not engage in negative banter whether at work, with family or friends.

* Grace enters the heart when we open it up.

* Lastly, appreciate yourself. Forgive yourself and others, and just Love.

Sending you — Love, Light and Joy