Why Women Need Women

‘“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo—what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” ~Oprah

Lately, I have been filled with so much love for the women in my life. Seriously to the point that when I think of them or speak to them, I am compelled to cry and tell them how much I love them and feel so grateful. I cannot blame it on hormones anymore, it’s just me being fully immersed in the love and gratitude for the special element, that only women can bring to another woman.

I have many women in my life, some who have been in my life for decades some who are new to my circle, each and every one of them is different in so many ways; age, culture, religion, ethnicity, socio economic, race, relationship status. What brings us together is our heart. Our commonality is our humanity and love.

The women who hold me and whom I hold, that is everything in this life. I would not be here today if not for the many. I have had a good life, but at many turns it was painful. I have been more than blessed to have my women, all so very different from each other but each one brings into my life her own special gift. The grace they bring is immeasurable.

I used to have a client who lived in a very wealthy area in California and she often spoke of not fitting in. We discussed the importance of having “our tribe” around us. How even our husband/partner and children could not fill the space that a good female friend could fill. Women need women. It is simple and true. Even if they are far away, it is a bond that time and space cannot dismantle. Once the roots of friendship takes hold, there is nothing that can take away from it. Not distance, not time.

The farewells, have not been easy. Even as we promise that we will see each other again, we understand that a vast ocean can be a challenging journey. Yet, it is in that promise that I find peace and hope as I move forward. It is in that promise that love lives vibrantly and keeps our hearts connected. In just a week, I will begin a road trip to Austin to see my son with my niece Veronica, giving us an opportunity to have a few days of one on one. I am grateful for this time and for the time I will have with my son and my beautiful daughter-in-law, as well as one of my oldest friends and family. At 63 years old, I did not imagine such a journey, but I guess if you ask others about this, they would say – it is not surprising.

This is dedicated to all the women who for the past few decades have experienced the ebb and flow of life with me, but especially to my friend/sister Lisa who I have known since I was 24 and who I swore I would grow old with (but given the temperament and impermanence of this life, might still be so).

Thank you for making my life, simply put,…….splendid.

With Love, Light, Joy and deep Hope,

Maria

Wanderlust and New Beginnings: A Life Abroad

“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” – David Mitchell

I was thinking of starting from scratch with a new site, but honestly as far as I am concerned, it is not worth the effort. My blogging history has always begun with a lot of verve and slowly ebbed into the abyss of years where my voice, for whatever reason, gets quiet. It is fair to say that it is mostly due to just plain ole living.

On September 27, 2025, I will begin my journey towards moving abroad to France full time, not Italy as I believed. For many years in my 50’s, I believed that one day, I would move to Italy and start a different kind of life. One that was utterly unpredictable, but an adventure that would teach me many things that I yet yearned to learn. I have always been a sort of wanderlust. My curiousity began at an early age when books became a magical way of seeing a world that I did not know, understand or even believed I would ever see, given that my means were small. I recently arrived in France for just 18 days to bring my dog Jax to France to be with my partner Philippe, prior to my final move, as I could not navigate a dog transfer along with movers and my own move. In retrospect, it was a good decision, being that getting a dog across a very large ocean proved to be quite daunting as well as often stressful. Now that we are in France and Jax is seemingly settled, I feel a huge weight lifted.

On September 2, 2023 I reluctantly joined a friend from my dance group at an East Coast Dance in Kingston, NY, where a tall man who I’d never seen before (usually, it is the same group of elderly people and men who love the opportunity to dance with a younger woman), happened to be there as well. I danced with this gentle man a few times and then boldly asked him on a date for lunch that coming Monday. This absurdness on my behalf was honestly, pure stupidity considering the distance of not just another county, or state but of another country. He, being the gentleman he is, accepted my offer and after one sweet date, we decided to give this long distance love affair a shot. Well, here we are almost two years in. It has not been a frivolous decision on either our parts, to have me move to France. There have been many challenges, trips back and forth, doubts and moments when I am sure we were both thinking this may not work. But, we love each other and have fully come to a place where the veil of delusion has risen leaving us with only truth, authenticity and the understanding that at this age, we both have “stuff,” but are willing to work through it together. Being part of another, there has to be some negotiation or there is no other. We will always have to bend in order to find the balance we both desire in this late part of our lives. We both understand this and are fully in. At the end of the day our core values are the same, love for our family, our friends, each other, the earth and humanity. I can move now knowing, we are both fully committed and that we have tested many waters.

As I reflect on this time of my life, I always think to myself, how often I thought, I just did not want to be boring. I think I am well past that. You can ask my poor son, who’s favorite line is, “that is the most Maria thing I have ever heard.” Jonathan has been witness to so many changes in our lives, some not pleasant at all and I often want to call him and say “I am sorry.” But, I think we can both agree on one thing, and that is, that he has always been my greatest love and that it was certainly never boring. I believe and hope, that if one asked him, he would always say that he always felt my support of him and that mostly, it was a good life.

I am not sure how this will all pan out. Truly my expectations are close to none but the hope that it will be lovely, is there. Nothing is forever, the only thing we can count on with certainty is impermanence. For today, I hope that life will be gentle at least for a while. I pray that whatever time Philippe and I have, at this stage of our lives, will be peaceful and healthy and happy.

Today I applied for my Visa (which for those thinking of moving abroad, once you know your dates you should apply as soon as possible as you will have to visit a Visa center in your state of origin). It was a fairly simple application even though at the end, it gives you a cost but no ‘click’ button to pay. So we will see how that goes. I have also purchased International Medical insurance, which I remember, I had to get when I traveled to Thailand and Cambodia. It is temporary insurance for a limited time. I was able to attain mine through a company called AXA, who happens to have an office near our home in France, for 6 months at the cost of about $220.

I enter this time of my life with an open heart, with a sense that anything can happen at any given time and the hope that my journey at this time is blessed. The one thing I can say is that I have always had a sense of adventure. Fear is not my thing even if I have moments of “oh shit”. I am excited to go to French school, learn some French cooking and wake up with the sweetest man for a long time to come.

May we all have opportunities to be brave, to learn something new, to grow exponentially, to experience the absolute resilience of starting anew at any age. I hope I can inspire you. I am excited!!

With Love, Light and Joy,

Maria